Probably no one has shown you any other way than to Be Adaptive.
Being Adaptive is a survival strategy for women in a patriarchy, where you are the property of men and should do what the man wants when he wants it in every detail. Just forget having dignity with what you want.
Being Adaptive is a survival strategy, especially for men in a patriarchal hierarchy, where the more convincingly you act like a psychopath, the more the higher-up psychopaths promote you.
Each moment you are Being Adaptive, each adaptive action you take, further confines you to the prison of survival behaviors. Life beyond the prison? What is life? Why was I born? What else is there besides Being Adaptive?
Don't ask those questions. They bring you to the edge of modern culture. Then you might see there is something else.
Being Adaptive is not a pretty sight, regardless of how closely you match the Instagram images.
Yes, there is something other than Being Adaptive.
But you won't be able to shift out of Being unconsciously Adaptive until you can Be Adaptive consciously.
Let the Experiments begin!
Experimenting reveals what you have been up to, and what you have been missing.
Being adaptive is the pursuit of the familiar experience of being trapped. The repetition and the patterns of your habits are your prison and they give you a sense of security: what happened yesterday will happen today, and tomorrow and the day after. 'Even though my breath is shallow, at least I can still breathe.' At least...
It is just so easy to be adaptive: step back, relax, and enjoy the flight.
As a highly adaptive person, you amputate as thoroughly as possible all connection to your own impulses.
In place of your own impulses, you put the impulses, beliefs, suggestions, etc., of an external authority. This authority could be a teacher, parent, government, or the loudest person in the room. However, for a really adaptive person, ANYONE will serve as an authority.
You have collected a million pictures taken in modern culture of what it looks like to be a ‘deserving’ human being: to look healthy, beautiful, young, cool is your unconscious goal. The myriad of conflicting images that continuously generate in modern culture confuse you. You build a trap between trying to find the method, the diet, the exercise program and giving up all together.
Your mental body adapts by accepting the fantasy of 'I do not know enough'. You think: 'One day I will know and then I will be the boss, the authority, the space holder. Until then I keep looking for the authority that can give me the ‘diploma’ and I use my center as currency.'
You emotional body adapts by suppressing any conscious and present powerful Feeling, by for example, Mixing my Emotions. As long as you are depressed, isolated, in despair, That way I keep being confused and numb, I do not have a connection to the essential information from my heart. I am trapped in the fantasy that I am blind and that I need a guide. I give my center blinded by the admiration of the unreachable.
Being disconnected from my direct experience of reality, I get trapped by being suspicious and believing that they will try to make me believe. Then, in my energetic body, anything that I have not proven, gets too weird and I give my center to not give my center, to not become a “follower”, to be independent.
Even if a highly adaptive person, you have spent years in transformational and personal development work, healing, discovering who they are, practicing with the four feelings, etc., if you have not sworn off Adaptiveness thoroughly and entered the groundlessness of being completely disconnected from external impulses, than any charlatan with a few ideas, a strong voice, and an “I’m ok box” will hypnotize you into forking over your Center.
IT IS EVERYWHERE
When you are adaptive, there is no area of your Life that you have not given away to your Adaptiveness. It's a package. You do not get to decide for what you give your Authority away and for what you keep your Authority. That choice would require awareness.
You are adaptive at the level of the clothes you wear, what you can notice in man and woman, what is allow to be said in a relationship labelled as 'Friendship' or 'Marriage' or 'Stranger', how you eat your oats, what is considered appropriate or inappropriate and when, what are the holidays to celebrate, how to present yourself, what to think about the last presidents, how you like you meat done, where to go on holiday, when or for what reason to have sex, what is a good partner and what is not, whether you can try something new or not, what is right, what is wrong, when you are right and when you are wrong, what is sucess, what is enough money, how to make more money, that you need money to live, that you need somebody to tell you what to do, that every second of your life you are beind evaluated and gradedetc... It goes on.
The question you are living in is: What should I think? What should I want? What should I say? And how should I say it? To survive, so that they do not abandon me, or consider me crazy and put me in a hospital, so that I do not end up all alone and die, so that they love me or respect me, so that there is a man to protect me.
A lifetime of Adaptiveness habituates you to passivity.
You give your center away. You refuse to take your Authority, to use you voice to say what you want and what you do not want. You make yourself blind to other possibilities or to choices that are not in the menu carefully crafted to feed your fantasy world which is made of the conclusion that 'I am alone and I have no access to the power of my authority'.
The impulses come from someone else. The ideas and clarity come from someone else. The next step in life comes from someone else. All the adaptive person has to do is say “yes,” and go with the flow. Another word for this level of passivity is “irresponsibility.” You have abdicated any responsibility for your own life. Your Gremlin play in the game of hating and being a victim to all the people who, wittingly or unwittingly, you have given your center to.
Why should I stick my neck out? What have other people done for me?
ADAPTIVENESS TO THE PATRIARCHY
Another Possibility: The 'Stop Smiling' Experiment
A discovery research between Fred Scarborough and Clinton Callahan
And that is one of the way people are adaptive ... they strap-on to a powerful conversation... but it is not their conversation, it is just a conversation they are identifying with instead of creating their own conversation...
we have been trained to adapt to a different conversation than our own.
When asked what is our conversation, we say, "I don't know..."
Thoroughly Healing Adaptiveness
There are at least two important phases in becoming a person who is not adaptive.
The first is simple: Stop Adapting. Completely. Irrevocably.
This can take a few years. There are many practices you can engage in this first phase, starting with but not limiting to becoming painful aware of all the ways you are adapting in all the arenas of your life. The practices of phase 1 build critical Matrix in your Being to withstand Adulthood.
The result of all these years of work is that you build an Inner Structure strong enough to support you in experiencing the excruciating realization that you are narcotically dependent on the approval and impulses of others in living “your” own life.
When this realization hits you, the scale will have begun its tip. The pain of being adaptive will be slightly more painful than the pain of doing something else. Whereas before, adapting was just business as usual, now, each time you adapt, you will start to be aware of the spoonfuls of life you fling away by saying “yes” when you mean “no,” or “sure” when you mean “fuck you,” or “thank you” when you mean “I do not want the crumbs of bullshit you have just offered me.”
All of this prepares you for phase two.
Phase 2 is about you developing your relationship with your impulses.
After secreting them away for decades in favor of the impulses of whoever you’ve been giving your center to lately, your connection to your authentic impulses will be almost unbearably atrophied. I say “almost unbearably,” because the level of heartbreak and rage and terror you will experience upon discovering that you have minimal access to even the simplest of your own authentic wants, desires, impulses, and moves can seem like that – almost unbearable.
But bear it you must! For on the other side of this pain is your new life… a life of wonder where you get to ask yourself, perhaps for the first time, “what do I really feel about this? What do I really think about this? What do I really want?” These replace the old questions, “What should I feel about this? What should I think? What should I want?” This is a precious period.
Staying Centered In The Middle Of The Storm
Staying Centered In The Middle Of The Storm
You want to stay adaptive? Then stay away from these Experiments.
Even doing one Experiment starts Building Matrix for a new relationship with the Universe.
Be Adaptive to Your Parent
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.01
Reactivity annihilates the potential for intimacy in your relationships. One way of surviving and avoiding reactivity is to learn to be adaptive.
Some of the ways to be adaptive are to be hyper-attentive, keep a high numbness bar, withhold, pretend, lie and manipulate so that you can stay safe.
In this experiment, you will be consciously adaptive. To start, grab your Beep! Book. Call your mother or father, and start a conversation on a topic that would normally cause you to experience reactivity. For example, politics, childraising, sexual orientation, climate change, etc.
Write down every sentence your parent says that demonstrates their being adaptive to a belief system, an external authority, assumptions, stories or expectations.
Respond by being even more adaptive than them. Mirror and exaggerate their adaptiveness.
Once you have completed this experiment, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.01 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Apadtiveness in the Movie
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.02
For this experiment, watch three movies with your Beep! Book in hand.
Learn to split your attention so that you are watching the movie without getting sucked in.
Pause the movie to write down every adaptive behaviour or sentence that you notice.
"the teenage girl is choosing to wear the same clothes as somebody else"
"he is getting married because his friend is getting married"
"they are thinking money has value"
"she is looking for the perfect man"
You might be watching the same movie for a few days. You might start feeling some feelings or emotions about what you notice. This might cause a liquid state. Take the time that you need to morph.
Once you have watched three movies and written down every adaptive behaviour or sentence, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.02 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 3 Matrix Points. Thank you for playing full out!
Consciously Unconscious Adaptiveness
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.03
This experiment takes 30 minutes.
For your next Possibility Team meeting, enact the script that you wrote in your Beep! Bookfor the last experiment (Adaptiveness in the Movie).
Choose one Theater Director. The rest of the team do 5-body acting.
Once you have completed this experiment, everyone enters the Matrix Code BADAPTIV.03 in their free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.04
Apply for an interview for any job, as an experiment.
Before going to the interview, do some research on the Gameworld that the job is part of. Be sure to know the context, mission, vision, values and culture of the company or organization you are interviewing to work for.
For the length of the interview, sell your soul to this Gameworld. Give up your culture and values and take on the culture of the job. Over exaggerate your adaptiveness. Don't be surprised if you get the job.
After the interview, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.04 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Be Adaptive in Line
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.05
While standing in line at the post office, grocery store, pharmacy, or anywhere else, shift your identity to the identity of an Experimenter or Possibilitator. Experiment with adapting to the people in front of you or behind you:
"You are probably in more of a hurry than I am, please go ahead."
"Oh my gosh, my parking meter is going to run out! I don't care, they don't take your driver's licence away unless you have 5 tickets."
"Do we have to pay for this stuff?"
"Do we just stand in line or do we just walk up there?"
"Your socks are so amazing. I would love to have socks like that but I have no idea where to get them."
"Wow, it's so cold in this place, isn't it?"
Notice what happens in other people when you are adaptive. Notice what happens in you. Write the gold that you found in your Beep! Book.
When you are done with this experiment, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.05 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Be Adaptive to the Home Decoration Magazines
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.06
For this experiment, find a Home Decoration Magazine, webpage or television show.
For 1 hour, 3 times a week for 3 weeks, move through your house and adapt to the home decor trend. Shift things around, make some crafty artwork that resembles the one in the magazine, make some new pillow covers so that the colour accents in your living room are more trendy, get rid of some clutter to make it look minimalistic and fresh, etc.
The experiment is to try to adapt your home to the magazine for 3 weeks.
The 4th week, don't do it. Keep things the way that they are, or arrange them according to your own culture.
After doing this experiment, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.06 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 4 Matrix Points.
Be Adaptive in a Meeting
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.07
Before your next meeting, choose to be consciously adaptive for the whole length of the meeting.
If someone asks for your input, opinion, or insight say:
"I don't have an opinion about this"
"my mother used to do it this way ____"
"it's a tradition in the company to do it like this ______"
"the easiest way to deal with this might be to just do nothing"
point to the person next to you and say "I have the same opinion as them"
look to the person next to you and say "I don't know, you give your opinion".
Be completely adaptive at the meeting.
Once the meeting is over, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.07 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Be Adaptive to the Opposite Sex
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.08
Just like your physical body can have a center of gravity, your energetic body has a Center. There is a saying that goes: "where your attention goes, your energy flows."
Your energetic Center is made up of your attention. This means that your Center moves around. When you give your center away to somebody you give them your authority, your ability to make decisions, to create, to take action, to ask dangerous questions, to hold and navigate space, to be present as yourself, etc.
For this experiment, go for a walk on a busy street. Every time you cross somebody of the opposite sex, give them your Center. Do not take it back. When you cross the next person of the opposite sex, give your Center away to them. Do this for at least 30 minutes.
Notice the sensation of being completely adaptive to the people you give your Center.
When you have completed this experiment, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.08 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Adapt to the Diet
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.09
For one week, become adaptive to a new diet. It can be Paleo, Keto, Vegan, Atkins, Low-Carb, Raw... It could be a cupcake diet where you only eat cupcakes. It could be a rainbow diet where on Monday you eat purple foods, Tuesday you have blue foods, Wednesday you eat green foods, and so on.
Choose a diet different from the one you usually eat and be strict about it for the whole week.
Make 3 phone calls a day trying to convert people to your diet by showing them pictures of what you eat, of how much weight you lost, of how much better your life is now that you have this new diet.
At the end of this experiment, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.09 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 3 Matrix Points.
Adaptive Walking (similar to silly walking, but different)
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.10
Go for a walk with your partner, your mother, your dog, etc.
Give your authority away to the person or animal you are walking with. When you get to the corner of the street, wait for them to move and decide which direction to go. They move first. If they stop to look at a bird, you stop and look at the bird. If they ask "Why are you still looking at the bird?", answer by saying "what?" with a blank look.
If you are walking with your dog, let it take you wherever it wants to go. Notice how you walk in circles when nobody has any authority. If you feel anything, do not express your feelings and let your adaptiveness lead no matter what.
When you complete this experiment, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.10 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.11
To do this experiment, you will be adaptive to a product or advertisement. Ask your friend to come with you to a dinner party, festival, concert, etc. For the whole evening, be adaptive to your friend AND to the advertisement that you previously chose.
For example, bring Cheez Whiz along with you to the dinner party, and put it on everything that you eat. Offer it to people, put it in your drink, wash your plate with it at the end of the dinner, make a mustache with it... Be over-the-top.
Simultaneously be adaptive to your friend. Drink what they drink, eat what they eat, ask them what you should say, ask them to tell you if you should change the way you are dressed, if you should take your shoes off, etc.
If they ask you to stop putting Cheez Whiz everywhere, find an adaptive way to stay Double Adaptive.
Enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.11 in your free account at StartOver.xyz when you have done this experiment. This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
Be Adaptive to the Church
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.12
For one week, convert to a religion that you do not belong to. Adopt the religion's beliefs, thoughtware, vocabulary, dress code, diet, and so on. Let it seep into the way you interact with your parents, children, partner, neighbours, people walking down the street... Over-exaggerate your adaptiveness.
After one week, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.12 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. Make sure that you do not stay there for the rest of your life. Ask for support from your Possibility Team to recover from this experiment. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Dress Like a Great Dresser
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.13
For one week, decide to dress like a great dresser. Wear the clothes that your mother wants you to wear. Dress like your teenage son or daughter. Wear what 'they' would want you to wear.
Put your other clothes in a box for the week, and only wear the clothing items that would be 'allowed' in this new style. Go to a thrift store, if you need to so you have at least three outfits for the week.
Notice how your Box reacts to this new way of dressing.
Once the week is over, write about how it went in your Beep! Book, and enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.13 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Defend Normal (at a public talk)
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.14
The experiment is to go to a public talk (consider going to a Possibility Manager's talk) and to keep raising your hand to ask a question. When the speaker calls on you to ask your question, ask with Modern Culture thoughtware and assumptions.
"I don't get it."
"Where do I get money for that?"
"How come they didn't teach this at school?"
"You're using language that I don't understand, is this a cult?"
Whatever they answer, defend normal as if it was a matter of life or death.
Once you have completed this experiment, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.14 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Defend Possibility Management
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.15
Do this experiment with your Possibility Team. In groups of three, take turns defending Possibility Management. Become an Evangelist. Give your Center away to Possibility Management. Say everything that you can to convince your teammates that Possibility Management will save the world. Each Possibilitator speaks for 10-15 minutes, while the other two listen.
Then you can each enter the Matrix Code BADAPTIV.15 in your free accounts at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Three times a day, sit down with your Beep! Book and write down what you noticed.
"I should put this money in a 'savings account' for my future children's education."
"I could invest this money in Cryptocurrency and make millions."
"Which insurance company will give me the better deal?"
"Oh I won't go to that grocery store because their prices are not as good as the other one."
"Look at the way that they dress, it must mean that they don't make a lot of money."
The purpose of the experiment is to notice, keep track and discover the patterns in your money-related thoughtware, assumptions and beliefs.
At the end of the week, collect your matrix points by entering Matrix Code BADAPTIV.16 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.
Adapt to Nothing and Withhold Nothing
Matrix Code BADAPTIV.17
Before doing this experiment, do experiments 1 to 16. The purpose of doing all the previous experiments is to fully experience the cost and the pain of being adaptive.
To do this experiment, make the decision to adapt to nothing and withhold nothing for one week (and hopefully for the rest of your life). If there are not at least two people complaining every day, then you are withholding and being adaptive.
They might say:
"You're talking too much"
"That's too much information"
"You're feeling too much"
"You're singing all the time, it's getting annoying"
"You're too loud"
"You're taking up too much space"
BEWARE: people might experience reactivity around you as you do this experiment. It is your responsibility to pay attention and declare when you are hooked so as to stay unhookable.
When the week is over, enter Matrix Code BADAPTIV.17 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.